I unpack boxes because I want to settle. In the best sense, to let my heart rest - not that other way of using the word, to accept something less than best. But my heart flip flops between the two of them, not quite settling, in either sense.

Sometimes I remember to be still and to accept, at the same time. To keep my high hopes, to let them float ever higher to be shaped and formed until the image of Christ is present in the pictures of my heart. To accept every day, to own up to every decision, to trust that the path I have chosen and keep choosing is right and good, for me in my here and now life.

It's in living with both of these that I take my daily stroll, sometimes mentally, through this home and hold picture frames up to walls, or scoot the couch one way or the other. I want to be rooted, with the ability to fly; I want to dream and adventure with the understanding that my home is right here, waiting, as comfy and cozy as my old pink bathrobe.

I'm going to hang some things on the walls tonight.

Abide.

I am sitting in Panera, the only place where I can get the internet. We just moved to a new condo and our lives have not gotten as organized as I wish they were. I guess there really isn't much to do now but wait, work and make sure to get enough sleep. The details will follow soon.

I am stealing a quote from an email I received recently (you probably got it too, if you graduated from Westmont in 2009...), hope you like it. I do.

"You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." Ranier Maria Rilke

moving and packing and moving.

We are moving. It is quite foggy and grey outside, but I have the day off and just over half of my current home is stuffed into nice brown boxes. Today's mission is to complete the task. And also figure out christmas gifts....

Note: my computer has died, and I have to use Tanner's, so that is why my blog has been so wholly neglected. Perhaps that will change in the nearish future.

Off to make a cup of tea. Happy Thursday.

I really wish I knew how to love.

Sunday

We went to church today.


It was amazing.


Who knew?

We're having our first guest tonight! Homemade pizza is on the menu, probably accompanied by beer (diet coke for me, not into that nasty stuff) and maybe a movie?

Can't wait!

Also, confession:
I think I am becoming addicted to watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Don't judge too harshly.


LOVE!

I would love to invite you over, but unfortunately, you probably live at least 6 hours away. Not exactly the kind of drive you can make before dinner.

Also, my new home is a disaster.

When my husband (!) and I came back from our Tahoe extravaganza (it was awesome - ask me about the hot air ), our living room was piled high with wedding presents. Many thanks to those of you who are responsible- unwrapping presents is a joy not to be reserved for Christmas and Birthdays. I think we ought to give gifts more often, and much more liberally. Wonder what the world would be like if we did that?

I digress.

The challenge of integrating all the stuff of our lives is proving a daunting task. I've shoved things in the closets, piled things on top of shelves and closed just enough cabinet doors to make it livable - mostly. I'm supposed to be doing more of this at the moment, but I haven't gotten myself off the couch quite yet.

(Don't judge, I've been on Craigslist looking for jobs. It was only recently that I checked facebook and started blogging.)

I am a firm believer that our living spaces reflect in certain ways, the state of our minds and emotions. To understand my heart, you'll just need to look in closet: the clothes are, for the most part, all hung up. Not in good order, sometimes multiple items are on one hanger, but everything is behind the glass doors. My kitchen is another example: boxes on the floor, some spices won't fit in the cupboard, some dishes are clean and some are not...

Our Sacramento Adventure has begun.