1:05 am

I feel like either the pressure is lifting off
or settling down into my bones.

to and fro

and away

we go!

Enjoy it while it lasts, Baby.

Because it's over sooner than you think.

That advice applies to lots of things, not just college. But it is interesting how I really wish that I could take more classes (even hard ones) now that I can't. Funny.

Anyway, I'm still alive. Life does continue after classes end. Also funny.

And God is still good.

I'm going to read on the beach.

Something New

Change of plans, came home early. Mom booked the wrong ticket, so I'm home and settled 24 hours ahead of schedule.

This time I want something new and lasting, where the pages don't get messy with my writing and my sloppy fingerprints. Where God says hello and I can finally listen. Where my reflection doesn't make me worry about the things that aren't there, but makes me rejoice in all that I see and all that I hope for.

Life is about more than school, more than a job, or a person, more than a self. But it feels awfully empty without those things sometimes. Here's to finding and growing.

Among other things, it is warm in California.

Sunday

Today I read the Magician's Nephew, instead of going to church. I fell asleep in the middle, but finished it when I woke up. I must say it was more edifying than Bride Wars, which I went to see with my little sister after reading. But what is Christmas break for, if not to read good books and watch silly movies?

On Tuesday I will get on a plane, wedding dress in hand, and fly to California, where I will eat dinner with my grandparents, sleep a bit, and then drive five hours back to my little Apt. #10 and then start the rest of my life. In a much warmer climate.

I'm trying to be hopeful and not doubtful, to trust in the Giver to be Good. And I must say that I am not good, trusting or a giver, so it's not coming that easily. I'm wondering about God. My questions are slightly cliche, but they're still mine and I still have to deal with them. We'll see what happens. It might just turn out to be an adventure.


I hope so.

New resolution: Start writing more letters.

Flossing.

I am, like most average Americans, fairly good at dropping New Year's Resolutions about half-way through January or February. But, again, like most average Americans, this year I am committed to sticking with my resolution for 2009. What is it? Floss every day. It's healthy, it's easier to do than some other resolutions, like say lose 40lbs. or start running every day or start eating strictly vegan. So far, I'm right on track with the flossing thing. Haven't missed a day. (we'll check back in mid January to see if 2009 really is a year for change.)

I have a bunch of other resolutions, but I haven't made them official, as I'm sure that they will pose more of a challenge to me than flossing. They're more like life resolutions. Among them is "love my friends," particularly those of the female persuasion. If you happen to be one, I love you.

Oh, and I bought a wedding dress.