waves

I just sat on the beach and contemplated forgiveness.

And then I saw a dolphin.

It's been awhile.

A few days ago, I got into my car with a friend. I turned on her favorite (though cheesy) radio station. The windows were rolled down, and the sun was shining, as it should in lovely Santa Barbara. She started to sing along, and her hands moved in time with the Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion and someone else I didn't recognize. But she knew every word. And soon, I joined in. We turned it up loud and enjoyed ourselves while people stared. It was good. A bright moment in the midst of an otherwise confused and cloudy little week.

Another fine day, I drove up a hill and parked (turn the wheels up, up and away!) and walked down a driveway only to be hailed by 10 or so middle schoolers - "HEATHER!!!!!" they screamed and ran at me, sharing crazy bits of their week, spilling over with excitement over our play and their Spring Break. I loved them, but I am relieved to be finished with my stint at jr. high.

Things I am grateful for:
John's acceptance to his choices for graduate schools
Kate's bright spirit and ability to love on me without strings attached
Seeing Josh at a party
The one weekend a year that we're planning to save for the girls
Finding a dress for Kelly to wear at my wedding
Peanut butter
Michael's wish coming true in just a few days
Jessica's new wedding dress
Being trained in CPR


There is more to say, but I don't know how.

Yellow and Chocolate

I have very good friends. After disappointment (sometimes it just keeps coming), they find a way to be present. Like making a cake and listening to the Jackson Five. And loving me.

maybe.

There is a yucky thing that happens when you grow. You usually end up moving away and changing and living in a new city.

But there are other good things that happen too.

my little life.

I am inspired by people who can find it in themselves to blog regularly. Obviously, I am not one of those people. I really do think about writing all the time, pithy little posts that never make it past my mind and down into the computer and out into Cyberland (which is almost as good as Candyland, but not quite. I love that game).

But here I am. Hello.

I have continued my flossing experiment. I have not missed a day yet, though there have been some close calls when I thought I might run out of floss after the stores had closed. Thankfully, the Floss Fairy saw fit to bestow extra floss on me at just the right moments, so I have never been without. Hopefully my dental health is taking a turn for the better. I'm sure you are all very excited about that.

My teaching job is going along nicely as well. We have our performance on the 26th of this month, so we're getting close. We're putting together a showcase of some games, scenes, monologues and poems. It's a whirlwind, but I am really getting to enjoy the students. I don't know where teaching/theatre are going to live in my life, but this has been fun and challenging so far. Jr. High is just such an awkward age - but I really do have a good time with those gangly little half grown-ups. We need a name for the piece, though, that's bugging me. And a set design (where are you Suzy Galletly when I need you!?). Oh heck, we need another 3 months of rehearsal, but we'll be fine. It's all about the process and the learning, right? Right. But if you have any ideas for a name, let me know. Seriously.

I feel like I'm learning in a completely different way than I did at Westmont. While there was a gradual sense to that kind of learning, it also was full of "Eureka" moments - little epiphanies (sp?) where the clouds parted and I knew I had learned something. It felt so good, refreshing and invigorating. This current kind of learning is not completely lacking in cloud breaks, but they seem to be few and far between. It's like I'm walking instead of jumping, sometimes just more of a simple plodding along the same track instead of the former soaring and dipping and free falling I used to feel.

Speaking of learning, I have a thought on Lent. Now, I was never really taught about Lenten Fasts, or Fasting in general, but I am a supporter of the discipline. (I am not, however, skilled in it) Well, my house decided to cover up all our mirrors for Lent. As the days pass, and I brush my teeth in front of a white piece of paper instead of my reflection, I'm coming to realize that it's really not about the mirrors. (duh, was it ever?) It's about what I'm intent upon seeing. So, no, I'm not freaking out if I accidentally see my reflection in the rearview mirror or at someone's home. I'm just trying to remember what I'm supposed to be looking at, looking for and looking to.

Ok, good night.