my little life.

I am inspired by people who can find it in themselves to blog regularly. Obviously, I am not one of those people. I really do think about writing all the time, pithy little posts that never make it past my mind and down into the computer and out into Cyberland (which is almost as good as Candyland, but not quite. I love that game).

But here I am. Hello.

I have continued my flossing experiment. I have not missed a day yet, though there have been some close calls when I thought I might run out of floss after the stores had closed. Thankfully, the Floss Fairy saw fit to bestow extra floss on me at just the right moments, so I have never been without. Hopefully my dental health is taking a turn for the better. I'm sure you are all very excited about that.

My teaching job is going along nicely as well. We have our performance on the 26th of this month, so we're getting close. We're putting together a showcase of some games, scenes, monologues and poems. It's a whirlwind, but I am really getting to enjoy the students. I don't know where teaching/theatre are going to live in my life, but this has been fun and challenging so far. Jr. High is just such an awkward age - but I really do have a good time with those gangly little half grown-ups. We need a name for the piece, though, that's bugging me. And a set design (where are you Suzy Galletly when I need you!?). Oh heck, we need another 3 months of rehearsal, but we'll be fine. It's all about the process and the learning, right? Right. But if you have any ideas for a name, let me know. Seriously.

I feel like I'm learning in a completely different way than I did at Westmont. While there was a gradual sense to that kind of learning, it also was full of "Eureka" moments - little epiphanies (sp?) where the clouds parted and I knew I had learned something. It felt so good, refreshing and invigorating. This current kind of learning is not completely lacking in cloud breaks, but they seem to be few and far between. It's like I'm walking instead of jumping, sometimes just more of a simple plodding along the same track instead of the former soaring and dipping and free falling I used to feel.

Speaking of learning, I have a thought on Lent. Now, I was never really taught about Lenten Fasts, or Fasting in general, but I am a supporter of the discipline. (I am not, however, skilled in it) Well, my house decided to cover up all our mirrors for Lent. As the days pass, and I brush my teeth in front of a white piece of paper instead of my reflection, I'm coming to realize that it's really not about the mirrors. (duh, was it ever?) It's about what I'm intent upon seeing. So, no, I'm not freaking out if I accidentally see my reflection in the rearview mirror or at someone's home. I'm just trying to remember what I'm supposed to be looking at, looking for and looking to.

Ok, good night.

Employed

I am now a working woman. Despite the helpful suggestions of my friends (hey Heather, why don't you apply for this job on Craigslist, as a "Romance Specialist;" or you could be an egg donor! $5,000 a pop!), I found a job and successfully gave away a million signatures, which means I am committed. And I am so thankful. Life is going to look a little different in the near future - giving up some things I always took for granted, and learning to accept the unforseen gifts of the future (how pretentious was that little phrase?).

Forgive me, I've been awake too long.

I went to Denny's with the boys this morning. I dragged myself out of bed at 5:00am so I could be showered and dressed and in Santa Barbara by 5:45 to pick them all up. We had a lovely time eating free breakfast. Denny's wanted to feed America - and damnit, I am an American. And, I really love pancakes. And hanging out with the boys. So, overall, t'was a nice (early!) morning. Oh, and I saw Danielle before I left. Imagine that.

I think that if ever I am a mother, I shall like to make pancakes in the morning. And probably for dinner sometimes, too.

Tomorrow I will be brave:
I will go to the DMV and become a Californian.
Then I will schedule meetings, and cross things off of my to do list.
Then I will drive to L.A. by myself.
Then I will teach theatre to my peers, by myself.

Ok, good night. I'm going to go floss.

1:05 am

I feel like either the pressure is lifting off
or settling down into my bones.

to and fro

and away

we go!

Enjoy it while it lasts, Baby.

Because it's over sooner than you think.

That advice applies to lots of things, not just college. But it is interesting how I really wish that I could take more classes (even hard ones) now that I can't. Funny.

Anyway, I'm still alive. Life does continue after classes end. Also funny.

And God is still good.

I'm going to read on the beach.

Something New

Change of plans, came home early. Mom booked the wrong ticket, so I'm home and settled 24 hours ahead of schedule.

This time I want something new and lasting, where the pages don't get messy with my writing and my sloppy fingerprints. Where God says hello and I can finally listen. Where my reflection doesn't make me worry about the things that aren't there, but makes me rejoice in all that I see and all that I hope for.

Life is about more than school, more than a job, or a person, more than a self. But it feels awfully empty without those things sometimes. Here's to finding and growing.

Among other things, it is warm in California.

Sunday

Today I read the Magician's Nephew, instead of going to church. I fell asleep in the middle, but finished it when I woke up. I must say it was more edifying than Bride Wars, which I went to see with my little sister after reading. But what is Christmas break for, if not to read good books and watch silly movies?

On Tuesday I will get on a plane, wedding dress in hand, and fly to California, where I will eat dinner with my grandparents, sleep a bit, and then drive five hours back to my little Apt. #10 and then start the rest of my life. In a much warmer climate.

I'm trying to be hopeful and not doubtful, to trust in the Giver to be Good. And I must say that I am not good, trusting or a giver, so it's not coming that easily. I'm wondering about God. My questions are slightly cliche, but they're still mine and I still have to deal with them. We'll see what happens. It might just turn out to be an adventure.


I hope so.

New resolution: Start writing more letters.

Flossing.

I am, like most average Americans, fairly good at dropping New Year's Resolutions about half-way through January or February. But, again, like most average Americans, this year I am committed to sticking with my resolution for 2009. What is it? Floss every day. It's healthy, it's easier to do than some other resolutions, like say lose 40lbs. or start running every day or start eating strictly vegan. So far, I'm right on track with the flossing thing. Haven't missed a day. (we'll check back in mid January to see if 2009 really is a year for change.)

I have a bunch of other resolutions, but I haven't made them official, as I'm sure that they will pose more of a challenge to me than flossing. They're more like life resolutions. Among them is "love my friends," particularly those of the female persuasion. If you happen to be one, I love you.

Oh, and I bought a wedding dress.